There’s a common misconception that introverts need to emulate stereotypically extroverted personalities to succeed: Be outspoken, always raise your hand and rule a room.
But the most successful introverts actually thrive by avoiding all situations, and creating environments where they can contribute in more comfortable ways, says Jevonya Allen, a self-described introvert and author. in “The Introvert’s Guide to Becoming a Master Networker.”
“If you know you like small settings, you probably don’t want to apply for a job at a big corporation,” Allen says. “If you’re in a team and you notice that they expect you to speak, you can tell your boss how to submit your thoughts in writing. [instead].”
The concept applies to almost any workplace and most regular life situations. The scariest part can be choosing from extrovert-friendly situations without disturbing others, Allen said.
At work, you can ease the pressure by having a private conversation with your manager. Allen’s advice: Come prepared with clear examples of situations you want to avoid, how you want to contribute and why it will make you happier and more productive.
Preparing the details ahead of time can make all the difference. “We [introverts] everyone first needs to understand how we’re going to show up,” Allen said. “Then you can adapt your environment accordingly. That’s what helps us grow.”
You can use the same strategy to more gracefully navigate social situations, too.
Take former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who found that events and social gatherings got on her nerves and offended her naturally shy demeanor, she told Vogue in 2013.
Before taking the Yahoo role in 2012, the beginning of a controversial five-year run at the company’s helm, Mayer developed a tactic to prevent herself from running into rooms full of strangers. . “I would literally look at my watch and say, ‘You can’t leave until X time. And if your time is bad at X time, you can leave,'” he said.
For those who need help figuring out how to align other areas of their lives in a more introvert-friendly way, Allen has a simple recommendation: “Take some of the online personality tests.”
Specifically, he recommends the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for anyone who wants to measure how introverted they are, and a DiSC assessment if you want help figuring out how to best communicate with people in your environment.
In particular, the scientific validity of both tests has been hotly contested for many years. In this context, you’re just using the results as an information tool, says Allen — data points that help you determine the best path forward.
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